Can Online Gaming Help Autistic Children Make Friends?

Autism affects how people experience and interact with the world, although every autistic child is different.

Many social environments are built around expectations that can be challenging for some autistic children.

Eye Contact and Social Expectations

Eye contact is often interpreted as a sign of attention and respect.

However, for some autistic children, looking directly at another person can be uncomfortable, distracting or overwhelming. They may listen more effectively while looking elsewhere.

Unfortunately, children who avoid eye contact can be mistakenly perceived as inattentive, disrespectful or uninterested.

In voice-based online gaming, eye contact is generally irrelevant. Children can communicate and cooperate without needing to meet this particular social expectation.

Repetitive Movements and Unwanted Attention

Some autistic children engage in repetitive movements, often called stimming, such as rocking, tapping or hand movements. These behaviours may help regulate emotions or sensory experiences.

Other children may experience tics or compulsive behaviours associated with separate or co-occurring conditions.

In classrooms and playgrounds, visible behaviours can attract unwanted attention, questions or teasing.

During voice-based gaming, these movements are generally not visible to other players.

This allows children to participate without their physical behaviours becoming the focus of an interaction.

Importantly, autistic children should never feel they must hide harmless behaviours to be accepted.

Communication and Social Interaction

Some autistic children interpret language literally, need additional time to process conversations or find unstructured social interactions difficult.

In busy playgrounds, conversations can move quickly, with multiple children speaking simultaneously.

Cooperative gaming provides a shared activity that can make communication more purposeful.

Instead of wondering how to begin a conversation, a child might simply ask:

“Can you help me build this?”

“Where should we go next?”

“I’ve found something we need.”

These exchanges create opportunities for communication without relying entirely on conventional social conversation.

Voice chat can still present challenges, particularly when players interrupt, use sarcasm or speak rapidly. Smaller groups and supportive guidance may help.

Sensory Sensitivities

School playgrounds, sporting clubs and shopping centres can be noisy, crowded and unpredictable.

For children with sensory sensitivities, these environments may become overwhelming.

Online gaming can allow children to participate from familiar surroundings, where they have greater control over lighting, sound and physical comfort.

Games themselves can also be overstimulating, so selecting appropriate activities and adjusting settings remains important.

Routines and Shared Interests

Some autistic children find comfort in predictable routines and familiar activities.

Scheduled gaming sessions with the same participants can provide consistency, while shared interests create opportunities for connection.

A child with extensive knowledge of Minecraft, for example, may discover that other players appreciate their expertise.

An interest that sometimes makes a child feel different in one environment may help them connect with others in another.

One of the potential advantages of cooperative gaming is that children can become known for what they contribute.

A child might be particularly good at planning, building, remembering details or solving problems. Another might bring humour, imagination or patience to the group.

These qualities become apparent through shared experiences.

When certain physical and social expectations are less prominent, children may have more opportunities to discover each other's personalities.

This does not mean online gaming removes every social barrier. Communication differences, misunderstandings and disagreements can still occur.

However, it may provide a setting where children have more opportunities to connect through their abilities and shared interests.

Friendships are built through shared experiences, trust, communication and mutual support.

These connections do not necessarily require children to be physically together.

For some autistic children, online friendships can provide a meaningful sense of belonging. For others, gaming may offer a starting point for relationships that eventually extend into face-to-face activities.

Neither outcome should automatically be considered more valuable.

What matters is whether the friendships are positive, respectful and meaningful to the child.

Autism specialists Tony Attwood and Michelle Garnett have explored why gaming can be particularly appealing to autistic young people.

Their discussion highlights opportunities for enjoyment, achievement, shared interests and social connection. It also identifies concerns about excessive gaming and difficulties maintaining balance with other activities.

A 2018 study examining online gaming among autistic adolescents and adults found that gamers reported more friendships than non-gamers. However, greater friendship numbers did not necessarily translate into better friendship quality.

Research involving autistic students and Minecraft has also explored how shared virtual activities can support communication and friendship experiences, while recognising that disagreements and social challenges remain possible.

The findings are encouraging but should be interpreted cautiously. Much of the research involves relatively small groups or observational methods.

Online gaming may provide opportunities for connection, but it cannot guarantee friendships or improved social outcomes.

Unrestricted multiplayer environments can expose children to bullying, exclusion, inappropriate language and unwanted contact.

As we explored in our previous article, “Could Online Gaming Be an Overlooked Tool for Helping Children Connect?”, the environment, supervision and structure surrounding an activity can significantly influence a child's experience.

Some children may also find it difficult to transition away from enjoyable activities, particularly when gaming sessions end unexpectedly.

Attwood and Garnett discuss research suggesting that autistic people may be at increased risk of problematic gaming.

These concerns reinforce the importance of clear boundaries, appropriate safeguards and parental involvement.

They also highlight why the environment in which gaming takes place matters.

FriendWorX provides structured opportunities for children to connect through cooperative online gaming.

Participants join small, age-matched groups of up to four, supported by an adult Guide.

Sessions are scheduled, with activities selected to encourage communication, teamwork and shared experiences.

Guides support positive interactions, help children participate at a comfortable pace and encourage inclusion.

Individual goals and milestones provide opportunities to recognise participation and progress while respecting different communication styles and abilities.

The objective is not to change how autistic children behave or socialise.

It is to create opportunities for children to participate, contribute and develop connections while being themselves.

FriendWorX is not a clinical treatment, and participation does not guarantee friendships.

Start by understanding what your child enjoys and which environments make social participation comfortable or difficult.

Consider whether shared activities, smaller groups or predictable schedules might suit their preferences.

If your child enjoys gaming, explore opportunities that provide appropriate safeguards, supportive interactions and clear expectations.

Most importantly, involve your child in deciding what friendship and social connection mean to them.

A child should not have to make eye contact, suppress harmless repetitive movements or disguise their differences to deserve friendship.

Sometimes, changing the environment can make it easier for others to discover the person who was there all along.